#2118
velvet
Moderator

Dear Ell
As always I cannot tell you what to do but within the first two years of my CG controlling his addiction I had a problem and I was afraid.   I believed that things were not right.  
Eventually I thought I would tell my CG my fear.   I ******* my fear up as best I could because I was afraid of upsetting his recovery but I had to ask for ‘me’ and I tried to explain that to him.  He said he was fine with me asking and that I was completely wrong in my fear.   I knew afterwards that I had hurt his confidence and my fear was proved groundless.  
Dear Ell – if you ‘know’ 100% that he has taken the money then I think it is best to tell him.   If you have any doubt at all, I think it is best to stay quiet.   You counted the money in front of him – he would know he could not take 50 euro without you knowing. 
Your husband has tasted life in control of his addiction and he has loved it.   If he has threatened that happiness he will be shaken and frightened and I believe you will know.  
Be watchful and keep posting.   Don’t test his addiction.   I remember being told in Gamanon that it is unfair to leave money around when a CG is in early recovery – not because they will take it but because it is a temptation.  
I am concerned for you and I and I am here for you.   I made a mistake thinking the worst Ell but I know it is a very difficult time trying to do the right thing.  
Speak soon
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V