Thank you… it’s nice to know other people here understand my plight and desperation. You’re right about following through that is where I have gone wrong over the years because as much as I felt I shouldn’t stay with him, I just couldn’t bring myself to tell the boys that their mum and dad were splitting up and he saw that weakness and banked on everything being swept under the carpet each time I found out because I was just not well enough or strong enough to deal with the marriage break-up. I have barely slept for the last two weeks and yet he continues to let me suffer with just silence, no sorry, no admission, no explanation just silence.
I feel physically sick just thinking about talking to my 10 and 7 year old and have no idea what I am going to say. I am scared out of my mind thinking about what the future holds being a single parent. I will have to move, go back to work and start all over again but I pray more than anything I will regain my self-respect and peace of mind for the first time in a very long time.