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Hey Morgan,
good to meet you in chat today.  We can’t change the past but your being here shows that you wish to make a better future.  It’s hard when you have to carry cash like that for work.  Sometimes we have to get a little creative about keeping ourselves accountable.  Have anyone that would support you by making you provide receipts for what you purchase on a work trip?  See if you can come up with some different options.  Keep working on it Morgan.  There can be no success if we don’t try.
take care,