Hi Adele
I know you read other threads and I assume therefore you have seen my attempt to explain **** and the addiction to gamble.
I think you sum it up well when you say **** is easy and relationships are hard.   Relationships between CG and non-CG are often verging on the impossible. 
One of the dangers we have, I think, as we become more knowledgeable about the addiction to gamble is, that we can ‘see it’ it other things too and I am definitely not saying that you do.    
**** can be a part of the addiction and not an addiction or obsession in itself.   The gambling stops and the surrounding behaviour stops – well lots of it anyway.   It would be naïve to suggest that when the gambling stops a perfect person emerges and personally I could not put up with a perfect person.  I have heard from 4 separate CGs that **** helped them feel like men when the addiction had done its best to emasculate them.   All 4 were ashamed and glad to leave it behind when they changed their lives.  
I find the inability to love others because of personal hatred and a total feeling of failure and worthlessness, the saddest part of the addiction to gamble – I can understand that a CG will feel worthless when ‘love’ raises its head in the bed (sorry bad analogy).   You have hit the nail on the head – **** is easier than proving themselves physically with someone who loves them – but it can prove to them that they are still able to function, although in actuality it only increases their shame and lack of self-esteem. 
I hope some of this helps
Post soon – your quietness is overwhelming