#1827
jenny46
Participant

Dear Adele
Your recent replies have been tough but already your learning is obvious in the way you are now writing – I see a new and stronger Adele emerging, one who will question how she is being treated or allowing herself to be treated. the addiction is tough and will remain a step ahead whilst untreated. We can be tougher by trying not to keep up with it if that makes sense ?
I would think he is gathering his thoughts Adele (not that I am a mind reader!! of course) His addiction is experiencing different responses and unpredictable responses from you and may feel quite unsafe with all of that – it may decide to change its behaviour in order to try and illicit the old Adele like responses – be ready for this if you can.
Its horrible watching the addiction take so much from a person as you say, even though we know its within that persons own control it doesn’t make it any the easier. However at least now hopefully it will no longer be taking you down with it as well. Where you are now and where you can be puts you in a much better position to give the right support to him if that’s what you want to do. You should be nearer to the top of your own priorities and it is good to read that you are, difficult when you find a new way of being or get in between, the old and the evolvement of the new.
Whatever choices you make Adele are ones that will be right for you at that time, I think it does feel like being alone in a relaitionship with this addiction and consequently it is little wonder that we begin to make choices or think along the lines of being alone, as we already are. He could change this if he so wanted Adele, I hope you never lose sight of that in the future, with what ever decisions you make.
Any way what’s wrong with single !! I love it, not that I am recommending it as a course of action for anyone else, I would rather of had it the other way but it wasn’t to be. I remember the ***** when my thinking started to change and indeed it still is and the insecurities of not knowing even if the knowing brought worse problems, it still brought security.
With the benefits of a couple of months with no addiction in my life, would I go back? I think I could say even if I wanted to then I couldn’t (thankfully). Big changes in you Adele and ones hopefully that will turn into some positive changes for both of you. I think its great!
Jenny
 We see things not as they are, but through how we are today x