I have SO MUCH to say here with too little time at the moment. But I couldn’t read another post on my thread without at least a short post from me expressing my immense gratitude for this site and for your posts.
Velvet – thank you so very much for your genuine interest and concern. I have a feeling that you are going to be that "one woman" – the catalyst – that will change my life. You are an angel on earth for "paying it forward" with your time, knowledge and humongous heart!
Before I leave to get ready for work, I have to tell you that I got a chuckle from the confusion over the quote from Adele (British ((ha ha)) singer/songwriter) that I put in my signature line. (Sorry, I have a bit of a wicked sense of humor – but it is NEVER malicious I promise!) And, Velvet, I LOVE that my name is now Adele because of it.
Adele wrote the song "Chasing Pavements" after a breakup. She described the song as a hymn to lost love and regret. She said, "It is me being hopeful for a realtionship that’s very much over. The sort of realationship you hate when you’re in it, but miss when you’re not." Later in the interview she said, "That song is about should I give up or should I just keep trying to run after you when there’s nothing there?", which is where the partial quote came from.
As I read the article, it struck me that two completely different analogies could be drawn between her thoughts and the opposing perspectives of my CG and me. In futility he is chasing his bets trying to recover losses, and in desperation I continue to chase after the man I love and miss but is no longer there.
Ah! Such melodrama! I will write more this evening and fill in some of the blanks Velvet. It is difficult and feels strange to be preparing to "air all of my dirty laundry". But I know I must … and I will.
Speaking of dirty laundry – I may have to dig in the hamper for something to wear today – ha ha. Such is my life …
"… should I give up or should I just keep trying to run after you when there's nothing there?" Adele