#2540
velvet
Moderator

 
Hi Dadda
I’m afraid it is going to take a lot of shaking up of governments to get the ‘truth out there’ but my opinion is that while you are still in the middle of the maelstrom it is more important that you look after you than try and change the world at the moment.
You could indeed be sitting in a loony bin or taking ***** for a condition you don’t have because your life included a gambling addict – I am exceedingly glad you are doing neither of those things. The emotional wreckage, I believe, is far greater than any financial loss and it is that which we address in this forum.
Alcoholics fall over and **** addicts have their addiction showing in their spaced out eyes but the addicted gambler shows nothing.   We can walk past them, meet them at social gatherings and talk with them everyday of our lives and not know.   Yes it is scary but it does make it difficult, for those who are not aware, to understand.    
The CG also is scared and does not understand why they are different – they fight their way through their turmoil using their addiction because that is the nature of the addiction – the pain they inflict is not done deliberately or meant personally.
I can only deal with those who seek support, probably having been pulled down to a very dark place, long before they reach this forum.   I cannot give you the money you lost to the addiction – I can only help you understand the addiction and why you have found yourself in the situation you are in. In my way I am trying to get the truth out there because everyone who visits this forum can open their eyes and take themselves out of the abyss emotionally.  I know I will not change the world.
When you are recovered, with your self-esteem and confidence returned, maybe you can do something to make a difference legally where you are – you obviously have the intelligence to do so and the hungriness to succeed. 
You are talking to the converted here but I cannot tackle the courts or law-makers – I can only talk to you and help you understand that what has happened to you was not your fault or your husbands. I hope to help you understand that the greatest revenge on the addiction to gamble is for you to be happy because the most important weapon in the hands of an oppressor is the mind of the oppressed.  
You are now divorced and there is a freedom in that but there is a greater freedom and that is to realise that you do not have the addiction.   Your ex-husband is not a free man – he is controlled – you are not.
Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent so take the miserable experience you have had and turn it into something good – I believe you can but only when you have had time to build your strength up.   You are not a patsy – you are an intelligent woman who has experience something she did not know existed.   Now you are aware you can remove yourself from its shadow but please give yourself time.  
You have used our Topic Forum and you have used it well. There is a topid called Wounded Healer.   It is my belief we can damage ourselves and others if we try to heal before we are healed. 
Financial devastation is well known in this forum and in the CG forum but it is the emotional devastation that we can deal with and nobody can do it for us.   We are in to a New Year with new beginnings and you have a new beginning.   I hope you do benefit financially from the sale of your home but having read your posts I am sure you will go forward emotionally, knowing you are neither crazy nor a nag.   As you grow stronger, finding out about you and liking yourself maybe you can get some ‘truth out there’.
Velvet