Dear BB,
I am SO glad you asked this question. I have been thinking and thinking about it. And thanks to Velvet and Harry for the thoughtful replies. Harry’s perspective is very enlightening. I hope more CGs  and F&Fs will post their experiences – good or bad. This would be a good Topic or post for Overcoming Problems maybe?
I think you are doing a fine job of handling yourself. You have obviously armed yourself with knowledge and it seems to me you are coping with your unique situations brilliantly. I see you becoming stronger with each post. Your patience and courage to remain calm while he’s there must take everything in you to do, but I think you will get better and better at it – and you can always come here afterwards and let it all out. I cry with you and for you, and I will celebrate even your smallest victories. Hang in there.
 "… should I give up or should I just keep trying to run after you when there's nothing there?"  Adele