Hi TbT
Now Twilight has found you so I hope you have gained something from this site that you have not had before – complete understanding from someone who has stood in your shoes and who is still standing and willing to help others – her father’s addiction to gamble did not destroy her.
It is very difficult in life to accept hard truths but often by accepting something that is horrible we learn to cope with it in a way we hadn’t thought of before.
Your mother is the loser in your relationship – you are stronger than she is and you have the ability to make something wonderful out of your life. To destroy yourself over somebody else’s addition is a waste of a life, a life in which ‘you’ can make a difference.
You are what matters Truth. Can you talk to your doctor about the physical steps you can take to better yourself without financial backing? Can you work? Do you have friends to support you?
I realise that what I am about to say is easier to write than it is to accept but I hope you will give it some thought. Hating someone hurts you more than them. I appreciate how you feel and I am not going to denigrate your feelings by saying I understand. Your mother addiction hates her – it is destructive to her and all those around her. I know this is difficult but if you allow hate to rule ‘your’ life then the addiction has claimed you as well. Rise above your mother’s addiction – realise how important you are. Don’t let her addiction make a victim of you.
I hope we hear from you again soon. It is important for us that we get feed-back to know if we are helping you or not. It is important for us to know in which direction to offer you the support you need most.
Velvet