Dear TbT
I am so glad that you had the strength to write your post.  I am aware that it must have taken a lot out of you and I admire you for doing it.
I am not going to try and excuse the addiction to gamble to you.    You are the person who is asking for support and you have come to the right place.
I am hoping that Twilight will find you quickly – not only is she the child of CG who is now an adult but she has written a book about being the child of a CG which I found powerful reading.  You might like to look at some of her threads.  
Not every woman who gives birth comes with the maternal feelings that society thinks they should have and I am not a believer in unconditional love.  I understand the strength of your feelings and I cannot judge.    
I would love for you to come into a group so that we can talk in real time – the ***** are in the box at the top of the forum page.   I cannot ascertain your age from your post and you might not want to give it on an open forum which I understand. 
I have to go and see to some commitments in my life but I wanted to welcome you as quickly as possible and to let you know that I will hold your hand for as long as you want me to.  
Well done writing – I will write again very soon