#1552
velvet
Moderator

Dear San
I’m sorry if I distracted discussing why CG’s stress.    What I am hearing in your post is a woman in great distress that will shortly not have the money to enable her son or possibly the health to do it either. 
What I feel strongly is that allowing your son to believe that ‘later has come ‘sooner’ is hopefully more beneficial for you and him.  
Each and every time your son taps you for money you will, in my opinion, lose another bit of San that is important to her overall health.   In the end with your mental health in shatters he will have to face the ‘fact’ that you are unable to enable him. 
You have gone to Switzerland with the hope of a better life with your partner.   Partnerships/marriages come under tremendous stress with this addiction in the mix and that to me is another big reason why it would be better to call a halt on enablement.   We don’t always get another go at happiness and you deserve the happiness that has been denied you before.   If you lose your relationship through this addiction, your son will have that stress to cope with as well.  
Unfortunately the texts will keep coming; the stress will keep landing on your doorstep until someone calls a halt.   He has no incentive to do so – he is indulging his addiction at your expense.
You won’t feel strong San – you are being battered and emotionally abused.  I started off incredibly healthy and finished up a complete mess.   Broken down San I was no good to anybody.    
Turn ‘you’ round San.  You can do it with your partner’s help.   Your son can stop gambling – if it wasn’t so I wouldn’t be here.    He has to want to stop gambling and as long as there is enablement it is a harder struggle to do so.  
Are you fighting your partner over this too?   I know that those who love those who love the CG feel helpless too.   They feel they should protect their loved one but they are shut out and it leads to feelings of failure which affects the relationship.   United with your partner you will be stronger.
If you think you don’t matter in the great scheme of things here you are wrong.   As part of the wreckage your son’s addiction if causing you will be impotent.   It is only in strength that this addiction is controlled.  
Do something for you today that forces this addiction out of your head and allows a ray of sunshine in – it is what your son will have to do it when he determines to control his addiction.    Has your other son gone home? 
You can do it San.  Your son can do it San.   Do not let your health slip anymore.  Believe in yourself and also believe that your son can overcome if he wants to enough.  
V