Hi San
Come of San – get back to feeling empowered because you are –  you can do this.   
He is certainly resourceful and a survivor – now you have to dig into your emotional resources and survive too.  
I cannot tell you what to do but I do hope you can now stop compromising your finances, your relationship and your life. 
I hope to hear you feeling more positive – you are definitely not stupid but you are on a painful learning curve – parents do not want their children to suffer and being tough does not come naturally.   It takes a lot of bashing in to your head that to love a CG is to be tough – nobody could learn it quickly.
Hope to speak to you in real time soon