Thank you everyone for your kind words and support. It’s means alot to me. Today and most mornings I wake up full of hope, full of joy and and happy feeling inside. With my partner we listen to great music, watch some old comedies and prepare for the day ahead, uplifted and ready for a good day. I want this to continue all day. It is normally broken by a text from my son asking for money or, and I think, I maybe, (just maybe) am starting to get this now, a text from ME to him, asking how he is and what’s is he up to. Am I inviting the ‘beast’ to come alive and spoil my day? Now a text from a mother to a son is okay and good, but really I am wanting contact from him to know he is still alive and until I get that contact my mind goes into overdrive. This cannot be ‘normal’ and I want it to stop. Have a good day everyone. xx