#1273
dadda
Participant

Thank you all for your replies. It does help somewhat to know that others have come through "to the other side". I know some of my anxiety stems from past experiences … with the Court and all other systems. Now, I know some of it is from having more understanding of what is going on and what has gone on … and the fact that "professionals" never caught on/catch on.
LOL the US Court system is pretty screwed up, particularly Family Court. I thought I was "the only one" but since the internet came alive … well, basically, I’m scared to some extent because it doesn’t always seem to matter what the facts OR the law is.
Every time I thought I might get ahead a little, he does something … like dumping the utilities, adding himself back to the insurance … or my car has broken down. My phone broke a couple of months ago, THAT was when I got a job call … but it was too late once I got the message.
So I have no money saved … and bankruptcy … even if I wanted to, I can’t afford to file. I asked around … because he blatantly told me he was going to bankrupt me … apparently, it is "totally legal". So my credit is destroyed …
I’m intelligent and have had numerous career oriented positions in past … but am stuck in the middle of nowhere. Every time I think of having to start again, from scratch and with nothing, it just makes me want to cry. If I could only have gotten out of here, two years ago … my attorney said, "trust me" and I did, though I asked questions and tried to limit costs. The attorney bailed out after the hearing, refusing even to clarify matters in the decree, so I wouldn’t be going through this now.
I was hoping to change realtors, as I had gotten no feedback from his (we are to sell the house, using a "mutually agreeable realtor") and we have had only 4 showings, now. Normal people sign a selling contract for three months, to keep realtor on their toes/motivated. He signed one for a yar. I’m "not allowed" to see the contract, per the realtor, but about two weeks ago I spoke with him (he did not answer e-mails) and he reiterated that the house is to be sold at the top of the appraisal … "because the judge said so".
I’m not sure whether to go to the Divorce Court AND Small Claims, file a Motion for Dismissal, based on jurisdiction … or go  and try to show the judge that he is trying to circumvent the Divorce Court’s authority, by showing he has twice filed to have me "evicted" and had that turned down. He is basing all this on some "agreement" he claims was reached the day the divorce was finalized. I’m not really expecting answers, so much on the legal issues … although it burns me up that I am bankrupted ONLY from having to protect myself against this lunacy that should not even be.
Right now, my daughter’s car is broken down, so we’ve been playing hob to get to classes and work, for her and work, for me, timely and all. I put 100 extra miles on, Friday … that gets expensive, too … but I can’t afford to pay for repairs, nor can she, yet …
I guess I am not understanding the COMPLETE hostility and animosity he is and has been displaying. I know, from past experience that the only way to "get along" with him is to give him his way … he truly believes he has the RIGHT to "punish" me if I do not yield … and this time, I refused to back down as I was reamed in the previous divorce and thereafter. I’ve come to the conclusion, not too long ago and having examined more Court records of various cases we’ve had, that he actually wanted me to come back because he read the parenting report done while he was trying to exclude me from our daughters’ lives … and come to the conclusion I might be victorious in a custody challenge. I know he terminated his attorney right after; normally, parents are not allowed to see or get a copy of the report, but legal representatives are … and he started representing himself shortly after … although he rehired his attorney, later. And he was receiving from $1000 – $1440 a month in benefits for them … it is a God-awful mess.
What I guess I am wondering … my whole take, particularly since he yelled at me a while back, that he was going to "keep on" until I "don’t have the right to walk the dirt" is how to understand this … I know, from reading some gamblers’ stories, that often, they do things that are quite unsavory, in the grip of addiction. I’ve done things I am not proud of in past, myself. But is this intense and continued hatred, particularly toward a former victim/target who now "knows too much" (while they remain in public denial) … is this normal? Is the behavior more indicative, would you think, of gambling pathology itself or his own personality traits/disorder?  I have found some good information, but very limited to date.
It has sort of "blown my mind" that in past, I even questioned my own sanity and believed I might be crazy, because of what he put me threw … and the fact that I was viewed as a mentally ill **** addict and troublemaker, all on his say so … and believed, by professionals … scares me.