I just found some information that has helped to put my mind at ease … a little bit. Apparently, I can appeal, even if he "wins" and that could give me additional time to work on leaving in a rational fashion, or trying to get this house sold. Or maybe getting a bit more useful information from the Legal Aid resources.
How I merely wish for some "solid ground" under my feet! This anxiety is making things worse than anything, other than what he is doing
If anyone has any links or ideas … how to view his behavior and how to respond (best) I think that would help. Pretty much, I have avoided contact with him. I have learned there is absolutely NO point in discussing things with him … as I mentioned, the only way to "get along" is to give in. I’ve also learned that "trying" to communicate when there is no chance of "healthy" communication occurring merely ends up dragging me down … as the only option is to resort to unhealthy.
When I have had to communicate with him (as when he bounded in the other week) I try to remain calm, factual …. he demanded I get out; I asked if he has a Court order. Then, when he and our daughter were yelling at each other, I tried to calm her instead of addressing her … but he was getting "in her face" and saying none of us have "the right to be in his house". I KNOW our daughters’ benefits financed the bills … while he played with money, for years … trips, gambling, cars … so I did mention that. Don’t know if that is a good or bad idea … guessing it probably depends on what their (underlying) problems are.
And I just want to say how much I appreciate all of you … I haven’t been on here for quite some time; but just to have posted and several replies … I really don’t have words. I’ve been spending some time contacting people in the gov’t, even reporters, cause it is also crazy that the gov’t permits, regulates and supposely, oversees gambling operations … and of course, they bust the "illegal" ones … it really makes me angry that, learning how much damage has been done to me … and our daughters … and the only "resource" for family members being … therapy … at our own expense … that just burns me up. And I know, I think Velvet, you told me something about not spinning my wheels on that sort of thing. I’ve just been saving all the info … who replies, who doesn’t … how they reply … maybe at some point, I can use the info or pass it on to someone who can do some good with it. I hope so!