Hi Babz,
Wow, alot has happened and it is disheartening to read how your father in law is trying to shift the blame on you. He is obviously in denial about his son’s gambling and basically is enabling. HE should be telling his son to get his act together or he will lose his family. YOU are not responsible for your cg gambling. He did that all by himself and he will continue to be pulled down by the addiction if he doesn’t seek treatment for his gambling. Yet, he has to want it more than anything, otherwise he will just gamble again.
I am a child of a cg, though I may have a different perspective of how gambling has effected me. I also saw how it effected my mother. She lived with it for so many years, covering up for his gambling and basically turned the other way when it was so obvious that he was gambling. Now that I have seeked recovery for myself. My mother has started to recover too. I guess my point here is that if don’t put your foot down with his gambling. It will keep on growing and getting stronger, doing more damge and before you know it your daughters will be older and they will suffer. They will see what it is doing to you. In some way they will suffer.
Time will tell what your next steps will be. If you feel like kicking him out then do it and don’t look back. Don’t be manipulated by him wanting to throw himself in the sea. You know this is all a game. He just wants you to feel guilty.
Your cg has gone some serious damage with your finances and I would not accept it just because he has a gambling problem. He ***** to make right for gambling family money as careless as he did. I would tell him that he ***** to get another job and replace all the money he took. How will he learn what he did was wrong? If he is truly remorseful he will do this. Regardless if your parents have money believed me even the richest person in the world would go broke bailing out a cg.
Just remember that you are the one who has control of what happens with your cg. You can either live with it or not. You have every reason to feel the way you do and your cg should know how you feel. THis is not something that can be brushed away like it is not big deal. If your cg really wants to stop gambling he will. It can be done but that means no gambling period.
I wish you support and comfort in this time in your life. I don’t think you are stupid for taking him back but now that you know he has a gambling addiction. What are you going to do for you and your girls? Remember, too, that no amount of screaming will get a cg in check. You must focus on you and your girls.
Twilight(I believe we get our greatest strength from the hardest obstacles)– 1/6/2012 12:06:59 AM: post edited by Twilight16.
