Hi twilight. Thanks for your comment. It is useful to hear about cg from a child of a cg’s point of view. My husband says that he wants help and has been to the dr. We are currently waiting for a referral from mental health and addiction team but as he is awaiting a driving ban transport to this may be difficult.
Since I found out last year I have not covered up his addiction and would’ve asked him weekly if he was gambling which he blatantly **** about. I don’t give him any money and take money off him to keep the house. I did not receive my money in december but thought this was due to underpayment in his wages and Christmas presents to buy for his parents. I now know he gambled his wages to try and make up the shortfall. I don’t think that I am an enabler but feel his father may be as he was in complete denial with me about this being the second time it had happened. He kept saying to me “anyone can make a mistake. He cant be punished for one mistake” when I pointed out this was the second time he continued with the anyone can make one mistake line. His father was also involved to a degree with my cg taking out payday loans which I was unaware of until long after he had done so. His father is also a **** as he told my parents he has been giving us money to keep the house every month. I know this is a complete *** as my cg does all his gambling online and I have recently accessed his bank account and there has been no money paid in to the account other than his wages and the few wins he had on bets. I also know that the money I got was not from his father either as I get my money transferred directly from my cgs account to mine. One of the reasons I took my husband home is because I feel he has a better chance of recovery with me as I am not in denial about everything that has happened. His father bets and I also think he is an emotional manipulator. He and my husband have their own personal issues also so I thought I would rather be in control than leave his father in control. Having said that I know that my husband has done wrong and there is no one to blame for that other than himself. I love him inspite of all the hurt he has caused me and my girls and how selfish he has been. I have given my parents all the children’s Christmas money to keep safe for me and I have also taken my cgs bank card and credit cards off him. I check his phone and bank account every day. He says the fear of being caught is the best deterrent he could have. However I am not naive and know if he really wanted to gamble he would not stop until he found a way. I plan to put the kids first and try to make sure that they do not go without and hope and pray that they do not pick up too much on the emotional side of it all