Get practical support with your gambling problem › Forum › Friends and Family › Las Vegas and Its Desert Mirages: Poker, Family, and Marriage – Can it truly exist in harmony? › Re: Las Vegas and Its Desert Mirages: Poker, Family, and…
‘If’ the counsellor said what your husband reported then they were giving him carte blanche to carry on. I say ‘if’ because the CG uses lies as a means to an end when protecting their addiction.
Recovery is always only in the hand of the CG – if they want it enough it is possible.
I can only re-iterate my first post if your husband does not want to stop. It is the hardest thing of all to live with a CG who doesn’t want to stop. Friends and family tend to think that all CGs do want to stop ‘really’ but this is not always so. However in view of his father maybe if would be a good idea to say that you don’t want to see the same for him and suggest he seeks further support.
Give him information of the means to control his addiction, perhaps find a dedicated addiction counsellor, there is nothing worse than a counsellor who doesn’t understand. He would be welcome in our ‘My Journal’ forum and in the CG groups where he would be understood, although they will not be suggesting that he can carry on playing poker as long as he manages his bankroll.
I cannot tell you what to do Anne. Being ‘constantly on your guard to keep up with him’ doesn’t sound like you are doing a lot of living just for yourself. Keep doing the things you enjoy and perhaps increase your interests – let him see that you are strong and ‘living’ your life. Perhaps you could let him know that you would like to see him join you in living his life in a healthy way but that you cannot live with his addiction ruining your life too.
He entered recovery for his alcoholism so he knows he can control himself but he might be afraid of not having the amount of strength and courage he ***** to do so.
Give him loads of sign-posts telling him where he can seek support for his recovery and give yourself loads of care because you deserve it.