I have so much to be thankful for, yet the day seems to be weighing down on me today. It’s been costing me a lot of energy, being confronted every day with the ‘CG in recovery’ as I am the one responsible for all of our spendings, checking receipts he gives me and dealing with everything that has happened so far: trust is such a huge issue.
As many of us, here on the forum, I too have put my CG and his ***** before my own on many occasions and I am trying to find myself back. Some days I feel fine and strong and other days I feel weak and hopeless. On those days my husband asks me for patience and to look ahead and at how well everything is going.
It’s hard. Why should I always be the patient one? Why, after all that’s happened, should I be the supporting one – instead of him supporting me? Yes, I want our marriage to work. Things are going well, in general.
I just feel so ‘tired’ of it all some days… I have decided to (finally) get help myself. Tomorrow I have an appointment with a psychologist (she doesn’t know me/my husband) to try and become balanced again. I hope it helps and I can slowly become ‘me’ again.