Dear JuJu – bless your heart – 
I wish I had sage words of advice for you. But I am only a week older than you to this site, so I dare not. But I know how grateful I was for the first responses to my thread, so I wanted to at least let you know you are not alone.
Like Bettie said, your post, or "thread", is here in the Journey Forum right now. But your story will eventually (and probably quickly) be moved to the Friends and Family Forum where you will make friends with people like me who can relate to your pain and despair because we have a compulsive gambler (cg) in our lives too. And we have the very good fortune to have Velvet in our F&F Forum. You have come to the right place.
Although I am much older than you, my story is very similar. I completely understand constantly monitoring money, doubting your husband’s love, the lies about money issues, the strategy of ultimatums, the hope you cautiously feel when he goes for a bit of help, and those little $20 cash withdrawals one right after the other. And I especially understand that feeling of going nuts. 
I encourage you to thoroughly familiarize yourself with this site and it’s resources –  and continue to post. For me, in less than a week I have learned SO MUCH, which is the key JuJu – knowledge of the disease. 
Hang in there … help is on the way!
 "… should I give up or should I just keep trying to run after you when there's nothing there?"  Adele