#1781
velvet
Moderator

 
Hi Juju
I was just closing down for the night when I saw an F&F member, Chasing Pavements – Adele, in ‘My Journal’ and I followed her across. I’m glad I did because you are now in the Friends and Family section and you are very welcome.
I’m glad you were welcomed by Adele and Bettie.   Bettie like so many others on here are willing to help non-CGs (compulsive gamblers) because they are living in control of their addiction.   She and others like her make this site special – we are a total community who care.
It is late for me here Juju but I will write more to you – I just wanted to say hi.  
Your post contains many things that need answering and I won’t try and answer it all when I am tired,as you deserve more than that.
At the moment, you don’t know whether to trust or not.    In my opinion, based on all you have written you would be unwise to trust.  
Your parents probably cannot understand – unless a person has lived with the addiction I am not sure they can fully understand.    In this forum you are understood however and every word you have said in this post makes sense to me.  
Your husband’s addiction is not your fault – nothing you have done has caused this to happen.   You have been trying to make sense of something that is senseless.   The addiction makes fools of us all – compulsive gambler and those who love them alike.   We can only change our ‘own’ behaviour however – we cannot make a CG stop gambling.
Adele is right – knowledge of the addiction to gamble will help you cope.   With understanding I believe you can rebuild your self-esteem and confidence.  
You said your husband fell asleep when you were telling him how you felt. A CG can feign sleep to protect the addiction but his addiction was probably awake and listening.   I will write to you soon and hopefully give you coping mechanisms to help you feel in control of your life.  
I hope you know now that you are among those who understand you and will not judge.
Your first post was brilliant.   I suspect it took a lot out of you to write it but at the same time I would imagine it was therapeutic.   Well done for getting it down so well.
We have a Friends and Family group at 20.00 hours UK time today – you will be welcome. We communicate in real time and nothing said in the group appears on the forum. I hope to write to you again before then however.
Velvet