Thank you all so much for your response. Also thank you so much Velvet for the 1 on 1 last night. It was nice to chat to you. I followed your advice Velvet, and I showed my husband the 20 gambling questions after I got off from you. We ready it together (as I told you he did laugh but apart of him took it seriously too) and he realised he was answering ‘yes’ to majority of the questions.
So after that, we sat down and have a “talk” (we have had plenty of these ‘talks’). I asked him if he admits that he is a CG. His response was “sometimes”. I said there is no ‘sometimes’… just yes or no! He reluctantly said yes in the end. We carried on talking about the things I have learnt so far about CG. I asked him if he would get help. He said he doesn’t need help and can do this on his own. (he says that he hasn’t gotten help in the past and the gambling is “getting better” because he has had access to money and ATM cards over the past 4-5 months and only last week relapsed). Is that true? Is my CG husband getting better because he went from gambling every week to now only relapsing after 4 to months?
He asked if I was leaving him. I just couldn’t answer him. I thought I was strong and determined this time. I even wrote to myself about why I need to leave this time. But I just couldn’t say YES! By the end of our talk, we didn’t solve anything. He asked “what are your expectations of me”…. I don’t even know any more. Years ago when the storm blew over, I use to feel better and lighter but this time I don’t feel any better. I still woke up this morning with a heavy chest! Still here, still lonely and still sad. 🙁
So thank you again Twilight (I liked hearing from you because you are a child of a CG and I think about my little kids all the time and what they are going through) and thanks Lily, Velvet and Tim for welcoming me to this forum and responding to me so promptly. I hope to hear back again soon.
Where to now