Hi Leaving
I don’t think that Mzr is still with us but if she is I apologize to her for high jacking her thread and hope that she will update again soon.
I cannot find you in any of my records, Leaving, so I assume you have changed your username. 
I am sorry that when you were here before it wasn’t possible to help you understand more about the addiction to gamble which would hopefully have helped you cope better.   There are different outcomes for different members but they are all known on his forum.   I know about 3-4 years ago we had a member from New Zealand who did leave her CG husband but her posts were full of positivity and she would gladly have supported you.   One ghost you can lay to rest is the thought that your husband ‘enjoyed’ you playing detective – his addiction does not work like that – his enjoyment would not be to see you suffer. 
Please start a thread of your own so that we can support you now. Moving out of the shadow of the addiction to gamble is often painful but we diminish our lives, in my opinion, if we allow it to affect our future as it has our past.I don’t believe the spark of hope has gone out completely – you have three children who need that spark fanned until it bursts into flame – they need you to be strong for them.   Understanding the addiction to gamble gives us strength and helps us cope. 
Don’t wonder why you did or did not do something – ‘what ifs’ and ‘if only’ hold you back. It is what you do now that ******.
I like seeing old members return and I am disappointed that you have not seemed to benefit from your time with us.   Your husband will benefit from your healing.
If you don’t want to start a thread, I will wish you and your children well.