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#14166
kin
Participant

The inland revenue department promise me they will release my banking account last Thursday
Today I checked, result shows otherwise and I felt ……
BETRAYAL (  MY TRUST ) & *******
DISAPPOINTED & UPSET
AFRAID & FEARFUL
SHOCK & HURT
RESENTFUL
FRUSTRATION & ANGER
I could not verify with the bank as it was after office hours
I could not call the ***  to check either
I don’t know what is happening to my account
I was afraid and very fearful I could lose every single cents  I had
Dear diary
I check my feeling , the  above was exactly how I felt between  6.30 – 8.30pm
The emotion showing on the surface  was anger
When I try to feel and describe each emotion
There are more
I expected myself to behave worst
I could have let out my frustration on my love ones
It could have been a perfect reason for me to act out
But my head tell me to use this opportunity tonight to learn
So on my way back home from work
I tried to describe my feelings on the bus
I plan to use it to question myself ,
have I done something that has hurt someone
resulting in them feeling the same  
I know how they feel now
they must be very disappointed with me
they must be very hurt
it must be very hard for them to ***** those memory
they must be very resentful of me
they must be very angry
they must have hated me very much
it must be very hard for them to forgive me
 
 
 
Dear GOD,
I am a sinner
Please have mercy on me