Hi BB
I don’t think there is a soul on this site CG or non-CG who would not recognise themselves in your post of 2nd June. You are wanting, as everybody on this site, is wanting – normal.
I do not for one second consider you a *****. Standing against this addiction is incredibly hard and I don’t think any one of us would not have understood the depth of your feelings. Don’t worry that you will become hard. I am still soft inside – I promise you.
You latest post is terrific and totally the message I am trying to convey. It is hard not to pussy-foot around when the message you are trying to give is blunt and painful but only when we really take it on board do we change. You are right – we cannot make a CG stop gambling. It is sad but many do pay lip service to GA but as long as he is going, there is always the hope that someone will say the words he ***** to hear. His addiction works on triggers and recoveries do too.
Perhaps you could ask him to put some of your worries to his fellow members to gauge their reaction. This I believe does a couple of things – it puts your message over to him and then I believe it is strengthened by the group backing your thoughts. CGs often read F&F on this site and I know it gives many of them pain but they are hearing what other people, rather than their particular loves ones, are saying. I have heard some say, they get more from reading F&F than anything else. We don’t write for them – they are anonymous and someone else’s loved ones – we are not trying to send a message and they know that. What we are doing, inadvertently, is backing up what ‘their’ loves ones have been trying to say.
Keep going with your thinking – I know it seems a massive hurdle but once you cross it the running is smoother.
Speak soon
V
