#1749
adele
Participant

Dear BB,
While I was in the Unmoderated Chat Room today waiting to see if you saw my post about going there to visit,  I met and chatted at length with another member who is a CG in recovery. 
It was a very eye-opening conversation and I left feeling somewhat encouraged to work harder on my recovery and to be more patient with my husband’s recovery.  He reminded me several ***** that I cannot make my CG stop gambling. I hope when you are up to it you will read about it on my thread.
I am so sorry to hear that you have RA.  One thing I know well about this disease is that stress can cause it to flare up – so it is more important than ever that you start taking care of yourself. You certainly cannot “stick your head in the sand” about this.
You mentioned you’re feeling alone … I’m sure you know that all of us here understand what you mean, but I think you need someone to talk to –  a friend or relative you can trust with your secret.  Although to be honest,  even though my best friend knows about the gambling, there is only so much she can understand, and I am not always up to explaining the addiction to her before I just talk about it with her.  But the couple of ***** that I have, I felt a good deal lighter afterwards, so talking helps just like posting here does.
BB,  any time you want to chat in the Unmoderated Chat Room, just post a note on my thread with a time that you can be there that day, and if I can (and my head isn’t reeling over something), I will meet you there at that time.
I have to tell you, the way you handled paying the money back that your husband’s co-worker loaned him was,  I think,  brilliant.  If that guy loans your husband money again, then he is a FOOL – and, in my opinion, does not deserve to get his money back from you!  If I decide to start paying on my husband’s debts, I hope I can come up with a similar “message” to go along with the payment.
Also, you didn’t ask, but I think you have absolutely made the right decision in telling your children about your husband’s addiction, and for exactly the right reasons.  I’m sure it took a lot of courage.  I hope this helps you to realize that you really are stronger than you think.
So, on a lighter note – are you a “Do-It-Yourselfer” like me?   The wood working and your garage sounds oddly familiar to me …. He he..
Keep posting BB, don’t let this stuff “fester in your head” as Velvet says – we’re listening ….
Adele
 "… should I give up or should I just keep trying to run after you when there's nothing there?"  Adele– 6/10/2013 6:04:39 PM: post edited by adele.