#1755
Anonymous
Guest

I talked to him about it and the conversation pretty much went like I thought it would. He said he did not know why he did it. During the whole conversation he was angry, defensive and totally uncaring to how it made me feel. The logical part knew this is how it would go and really was not phased. The emotional part took another hit. I know in my gut I will be fine but I just wish the hating would stop. I really feel that he absolutely loathes me at *****. And it seems as though he is angry at anything that offers me help or comfort. He says he’s glad I have something to fall back on, but I get the feeling only on his terms. I am going to pull back to what I call my safe zone and just focus on me, the house and the kids. I need to realize he will not be there for me for a long time yet. Maybe if I get that pounded through my head the disappointments will not be so crushing. I can honestly say right now I hate him. I wish that would stop too…you shouldn’t hate your husband. It’s also amazing how well I can anticipate the ugly beast and recognize the ***** when he is ruled by the addiction. He might not have gambled but it is still there.