Once again our struggles are leap-frogging. I don’t have much time, but I wanted to post this for you now.
Do not allow your spirit to die BB … I think I recognize that tone in your words …
Remember: The addiction to gamble ****** on us not knowing how to cope with it. Break the cycle – you know how to do it! If something isn’t working, do something different. Stop running after the addiction and confront it head on without words. Confuse and thwart its manipulation. Bare your teeth and growl at it BB.
I posted this on your thread back in June: “What I do know is that you are amazing. I have witnessed you building up your self-esteem and confidence these last weeks. You have taken your own inventory and begun the difficult process of letting go of your anger and pain. You have redirected your energies and gotten busy doing things around your house – things you enjoy – things that are visible proof of your improving mental and emotional health. These are the things that Velvet has told us will make a difference in how we cope with our husband’s bad behavior.”
You are so much stronger than you feel right now – and how you feel is so much more important than comfort for the addiction.
Our recovery must be kept foremost in our lives. We must focus our thoughts and energies on things that have nothing to do with the addiction so we can experience peace and fulfillment and thus regain our confidence and self-esteem. This will allow us to not be part of the wreckage our CGs must deal with – and that is the best way we can support them in their recovery.
Put your interests first. Call those friends you think you have shut out: We all go through rough ***** – they’ll understand without needing to hear an explanation.
Accepting the truth has been the hardest thing for me, but I believe doing so has cleared the path to my recovery. If I may: Stand back … quiet yourself … and let go BB.
— 8/13/2013 8:11:32 PM: post edited by adele.