Next Saturday we are removing his name from our joint account. That is the soonest we can do it between both our work schedules and the kids. If he is given cash for any reason, he is to bring the receipts and the leftover change. I have agreed to put my receipts in the same location. Trying to set similar rules for myself.
He initially agreed to tell his sisters. He is now refusing and told me if I tell them there will be big problems. My outside voice said….we will see I am not saying it ***** done now, but it does need to be done. My inside voice….big whoopty doo what could you do to me that hasn’t already been done? Leave? Hmmm…that could be a vacation for me at this point.
I am questioning myself do I want his family involved so they can help him or because I want to punish them in some way. I know I resent them. He continually sacrifices me, my feelings and our family but will do whatever it takes to protect their feelings and their opinion of him. I just don’t know at this point.
I have decided to wait to tell the kids. I still do not think I have enough information to explain this to them. I am going to my first gam-anon meeting Monday night. I want to wait until after that and I can process whatever I learn there.
I am finding I am having a hard time being the happy, supportive, wife. I have a lot of anger. Not sure how to get past that. Actually I am afraid that I have no idea who I married. Is it the awesome guy that treats me like gold…or is that the guilt talking after or before gambling? Does the person who treated me like gold exist?