#2748
lily
Participant

Hi fleahome, I noticed you haven’t posted for a couple of weeks and wondered how things are going? It must be so hard when it is a family member gambling, our natural instinct is to protect and help our family.  I would suggest at this point offering emotional support where you can but have clear boudaries to protect yourself, point him in the direction of help and do not give him money. Offering financial help to a Cg is just giving them the opportunity to gamble, if they are bailed out of debt then they may see feel that will always be there for them.
No one can make a Cg seek help effectively except themselves, they often have low self esteem and see their future as bleak and gambling as the only answer. If someone in the family was willing and felt strong enough to take control of his finances this would help minimize the temptation but this is not a solution to the problem. Compulsive gambling is an illness and ***** to be treated by people who understand it. Some gamblers decided to seek help when all avenues of support from friends and family are closed to them and they reach rock bottom.
Please try to withdraw financial support from him, ensure you are supported and don’t feel you have to keep it a secret. In my experience the secrecy leads to the non CG feeling isolated with the problem and the more people who know, the less opportunities to get hold of money to finance the gambling are available to the CG. You will need support to get through this yourself and don’t feel bad about getting that support where ever you can, it is such a hard thing to deal with for the loved one of the CG and CG alike.
Reading on this site or where ever you can will help you become more informed and the more knowledge you have the more tools you will have to deal with this addiction. I wish you well and hope you will feel you can come here for support where you will always find understanding and not judgment. The group and the helpline are also very helpful and in real time. Lil x “Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.” (Maria Robinson)