AH – so sorry – I do understand but like so many others have said to me you need to take care of yourself and forget about John. He will take care of himself. You can encourage him to get help but you cant make them… My hubby is willing to get help but i think he is treating it like a vacation – he said “yeah, sure I could get away..” – some of these rehabs ARE like vacation spots (“we start our day with a healthy organic breakfast and yoga…”) – yikes! Makes me feel like I should go to rehab! I am not sure how serious he is taking the whole thing – after all, he is still in the house with us, has his job (dont know how??) etc…but the kids must know something is wrong since ive been like a zombie the past few weeks – I want to help him get help but ultimately the work is his to do – I told him I will not take responsibility for his addictions – Even if he says Im bossy, etc I told him there are ways to handle things and running away gambling, (and other things he does) isn’t a mature way to handle these issues….It is so hard bc sometimes I feel like I am talking to a rational person and then I realize as he tries to justify it all away, that he is NOT rational – he is sick – Like you, from what I read, I MISS my husband – we get along so well, have such a great relationship in the sense of how we get along, have fun together etc.. A few months before I found out (the latest) set of lies, we took a 4 day trip to Paris – was FABULOUS! Stayed in nicest hotel, limos galore, dinners, romantic walks along the Seine…etc. It was lovely. He kept saying to me “you could do so much better than me, I don’t deserve you…” now looking back it was the LIES that were eating at him – 3 years worth this time – I feel these past 3 years have just been so **** – and how do I know if there are MORE lies??? How can I ever trust him again??? It is so hard….
I feel your pain for your kids – I am there too – but right now I am literally trying to stay alive every day. I feel so SAD and dont know how we will EVER dig our way out of this….
Love to you all…suffering in solidarity..