#1483
monique
Participant

Hi Madge.
It is good to hear from you again.  You give a vivid picture of your world, inner and outer, personal and professional, somehow disintegrating around you, while you desperately try to hold things together.
There are no ‘easy fix-it’ replies to make.  I can only suggest really trying to s-l-o-w down in your mind, which has so much whirling and swirling around in it – literally, physically stop, breathe deeply and slowly and try to focus very much on the present moment.  What is vital to do in that moment? – take a break?  do something for the children? tackle whichever task is essential AND also POSSIBLE and practical for you;  one thing at a time only.  I KNOW this is easy to say and not so easy to do …
You did not do the ‘creative’ things with the finances and it feels very unfair that you should be facing these consequences, but I hope that you can somehow let the procedures take their course, be as honest and straightforward as you can be, but not take on too much advance anxiety or a sense of responsibility for what your husband did.  I do hope he finds the right help for his multiple ***** and is truly sincere about accepting the changes that are necessary. 
Look after YOU and hold in mind that you are being remembered.
MoniqueKeep hope alive.