#1484
velvet
Moderator

Dear Madge
Please believe the world is not crashing down on you.  As the poem ‘Yesterday Today and Tomorrow’ testifies, the sun will rise tomorrow regardless – all you can worry about is today.   I completely believe that your husband would try and substantiate some of his exaggerated deductions with false documents – he is totally blinkered to reality – but you are not.
Your husband saying he is really sick and ***** help is no small thing.   Unfortunately the craziness can get to this sort of desperate situation before the CG finds the determination to change.    The ball has been taken out of his court – his lack of control will be sending alarm bells rocking his addiction.  His addiction is failing him – he is being uncovered, unfortunately what he does about it is still in his hands.  
Don’t underestimate your importance in all this madness Madge.   You are not crazy but you have been dragged into a crazy world.   You and the kids will get out of it.   You are capable of sitting down and working your way through problems.   If you have the money don’t let yourself drown in bills.   Debt is demoralising – it doesn’t worry the CG but you are aware of what it means.  The retaining wall, the trees, the car are all pieces of the jigsaw that can be sorted.   Your husband’s addiction is the piece of the jigsaw that doesn’t fit yet but hopefully this mess, he has created, will open his eyes.   it is important that you do not take responsibility for his mess – you cannot love him out of this.  
When you get the opportunity, I suggest you talk to those who are frightening you – your husband is not the first CG to get his family in a mess like this.   I cannot tell you what to do but I believe in being upfront and honest.   Your husband is sick and you didn’t know, until now, exactly what that meant but you are doing something about it – you are not sitting on your thumbs.    Your husband is not a criminal, his illnesses are not something to be ashamed about – his life has been out of control but you are trying to do something about it. 
You have strengths as yet untapped Madge.   Take each problem and break it down into small pieces and you will cope.
You are in my thoughts and prayers
Velvet