#1471
madge456
Participant

Hi again – quick reply as the kids are waiting on me – But I wanted to thank everyone for posting and contributing…Velvet I really resonated with what you said about being lost – You don’t know me but I am a very strong person and I have NEVER had a time in my life where I felt so lost. Like I said physically getting lost, not knowing where I am, forgetting about where/what I am supposed to be doing. That is not me. I feel like another person – I told my husband he has destroyed me – I feel destroyed.
I feel like if he goes away to rehab it will be good for me too – to try and get MY life on track, to try and find me again. I think it will be good for both of us. When we started talking about rehab my husband seemed unaffected by the idea all together – like he was almost planning a vacation! When I told him how much money it would cost, THEN he freaked out! Can you imagine that you are most freaked out by the cost than by the actual truth that you are destroying your life??? That was unbelievable to me…his coping mechanism again I suppose…
Berber and Nomore – I wanted to thank you for your amazing support and to ask the names of the rehabs your CG’s went to?? The problem we are having is finding “the right” place for him to go. The place locally which is very good, the CBT program is a partial program – you go all day and come home at night – and it is only for 10 days! I don’t think that is enough, do you???
We both want, I think, something at least 30 days where my husband can really “dig in” and rip open all the **** he has inside of him – and that takes time. I know he is afraid but I also think there must be someone/someplace out there that can help him…He says he is “emotionally constipated” I haven’t even seem him cry or express any sadness over what he has done – he uses the words that he is sorry, but his affect is blank…that in and of itself is very sad…
I am trying to get ahold of myself for my kids and myself. It is hard to spend time with my husband as I am so sad, angry, resentful, etc…but I told him if he is COMMITTED to working it out, I will stick by him. He says he is…
What would really be helpful are names of any rehabs for addiction (*** addiction, food addiction, gambling..he has them all) in the US – doesn’t matter to me where they are – it’s easy enough to get on a plane. I think a combo of CBT and insight oriented therapy would be good – but I also agree with you Velvet and everyone else that if you don’t WORK THE PROGRAM, nothing good will come of it….
We are going for an interview for the partial program near us just to see but my gut tells me 10 business days of treatment is not enough to undo 47 years of ****….
Peace to all…more later…
XOXOLucky me…..