#1464
madge456
Participant

Hi all
Thank you Building for your post – I agree that the addiction model can easily switch favorites – food one minute, *** another – at least in my husbands case. He has not gambled online in over a week (he committed to not do it), we have seen his psychiatrist twice and added a new med (naltrexone – supposed to help curb urges), seen his therapist ,etc. He was very active (as opposed to his usual passive self) today in calling ALL his old therapists (quite a long list I ****** you!) to see what they recommend he do in terms of the next step of treatment…They almost all unanimously said that inpatient rehab is a waste of money because you are out of your environment, etc etc… I have no idea if inpatient would help him or not but I know what we have been doing for the past 20 years (meds, multiple therapists, couples counseling, etc) has not worked. He admitted himself he has been jerking all these therapists around all these years. He is super smart (like genius IQ) and easily manipulates others. He said he is too scared to deal with all the **** inside of him but I told him he ***** to find an inpatient or residential treatment program or he ***** to move out. I have been so sad, crying non-stop that I basically can’t function – I got lost going home today because my mind is so “not there” – as I’ve said before, i don’t want to ruin my kids lives but I feel like my life is now on the line – I can’t function like this – I feel like my arm has gangrene on it and even though I don’t want to cut off my arm, I have to to save my life..He said he is committed to doing whatever he ***** to to save our marriage – let’s see about that…
We are looking into partial hospitalization program near where we live – it focuses on CBT – cognitive behavioral therapy – it is for 2 weeks (not long enough in my opinion). Does anyone know if this type of treatment might help someone with addictions?? I have always believed in a more psychodynamic insight oriented model in terms of getting to the root of the problem, but he has had years of insight-oriented therapy and did basically nothing with it. His psychiatrist says he thinks there is something wrong with the frontal lobe of his brain because he has issues with social judgement and Asperger-type traits and that he may not be able to actually DO insight oriented therapy…
So, my questions are many: 1) How do I not “get my hopes up?” 2) What happens if he goes to rehab and is still the same?? 3) is it even worth spending major money in rehab to see if he can be saved? I feel so sad and hopeless – and I miss my husband – I miss being with him, miss having fun with him, I feel like he ****…. I wish we could be intimate again but I feel like that would give him the wrong message that everything is all right when clearly it is not….
Any suggestions? You all have been so helpful – Every day for me is like torture and I need it to stop…. 🙁