In many situations I do find it better that CG’s dont read their partners posts. There are lots of reasons why that really im not going into. After spending so long talking to you its become clear that you have many qualities shared by so many others but you also have a very different situation to many others. Distance and that alters the whole dimension of your recovery.
When you write on here Im positive there is nothing but 100% truth about how you feel, how his actions make you feel, how the distance makes trust & truth become gray.
For me personally I love your posts and everything ive read has never contained any malicious or manipulating situations.. just facts and truth as you percieve them.
You wrote "I told him about this site so he could read, so now I feel like I can’t write 100% freely. Part of me thinks I probably shouldn’t care, that I should just use this for me no matter what, if he reads and doens’t like it, oh well"
Sosad you should write freely its a human given, sure of your going to use it as a way of attacking then no, but thats not you. What helped me the most and Im I wont write it here was seeing the face of one person, someone I never meant to hurt but you havent got the ability for him to see you at your low points. Maybe the truth will allow him to see the consequencies of his actions and take full ownership of this addiction….maybe thats what he trully ***** to hear.
H"You may never know what results come from your actions. But if you do nothing there will be no result". – Mahatma Gandi