Velvet, thank you for the words.  My husband does admit he has a problem.  he has been seeing a councelor 2 ***** and is starting ga meetings.  he was to go to his first one a few days back and called me from the hospital saying he coudln’t find it….its frustrating because he should have looked up the information prior to going to make sure he had the location right.  Now this week he is to go again and i don’t think he has looked up the location and I honestly think that he ***** the intiative to do that himself.  He relys on me for everything.  I know below it says I shouldnt pay off his debt, but his bookies were on him and I had to pay $500 (or so i thought $500)….he told me today that it was $5000 and I dropped the wrong amount off.  What the heck??  now he wants me to drive 30 miles one way out of my busy day tomorrow to drop off another 4500 because his job doesn’t let him take time off of work?  I have to work all day, do this **** for him, throw 4500 dollars away and come home to my kids, get them fed, go to a pre school activity…..and Im assuming Ill come home to see him on the couch drinking after he gets off of work.  he has been sick for a week and a half due to heat exhaustion (he works outside in the 100 degree heat)….and he lays around every minute he gets.   I read below that I am not to make threats to him I can’t keep and I agree, but I am i supposed to just not be ******??  I would think that would make his recovery harder to do, but I dont think he should just get a slide because he is a sick "addict"??  I started off so sad about all of this, and I am just getting more and more mad.  I don’t want to work, I have lost all interest in life.  I dread everything and my kids dont desearve this kind of mom.  im lost, just going through motions and my work life is falling apart.