Hi BD, since I’m not a cg, I cannot feel what you feel of course. But I also want to encourage you to hang in there, to actually experience your feelings, even if they are really raw right now. My hb told me that he no longer feels guilt or shame but deep and heartfelt remorse for what he has done to the people he loves and cares for and also to himself. He still hurts to this day that he caused such deep and lasting despair for me (long story and caused by our circumstances). He tells me that this is part of recovery, to really feel, not only the good but also the bad. To work through it and to face his past head on instead of just sticking said head into the sand so to speak. Recovery is a work in progress and like Adele, I think it is incredibly sweet what you did for your wife. It takes time and everything is still very new and if you allow me to say so, the fact that my hb nowadays really understands what he put us through and hurts for me and everyone who was affected by his gambling shows me that his recovery is for real. He can finally emphasize with others, something he was never able to do since the cards were always much more important than we were. Don’t know if this all makes any sense to you but keep up the good work and be kind to yourself!!
