The elation of being home is beginning to normalise. Routine stuff of shopping and cleaning. Though, to be honest, when ‘in action’ those two things would be resented at best, ignored mainly, to accommodate all the gambling thoughts, playing, ***** and desperation. So maybe a routine day is actually a great sign? We have largely gone without any credit for our 6 of our 8yrs of marriage thanks to my **** ups with loans, credit cards and gambling debts, not even a debit card which makes things difficult. Whenever we did have one, i would find my way to use it for a ‘free bet’ or ‘guess’ the PIN to withdraw the little cash in the bank we had. But today, after two years of a basic basic account, we went to the bank and much to my wife’s surprise (but not mine) she was given an account with a debit card. We have made it so she can transfer funds to the account with the debit card as & when we need to buy things with it. My idea! Means i cannot manipulate it in any way. It’s good to be aware of the devil inside and keep it from getting any power.
Shame the GH ex-resident’s forum is down tonight. I was looking forward to my first session. It’s nice to have this forum to write down my thoughts.
The next door neighbours, who are friends, are seperating and HE is distraught. 10yrs younger than me and they have a child. Their relationship is ending because she ‘doesn’t love him anymore’. Makes me wonder if that will ever happen to me. Their lives were free from the destruction on gambling unlike ours and yet we are still, i guess you could call it, a happy married couple. Before treatment i would not have coped at all with losing my partner. Now, although it’s the last thing i want, i feel i could cope without destroying myself and still lead a happy life. Things change.
When you can't run, you crawl. And when you can't crawl, when you can't do that… you find someone to carry you.
