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Hey welcome to you Harry and man you have so much living to do and all the time in the world to start doing just that!! that in itself isthe thing you need to realize from the get go.  You can change everything and fix yourself so that you can look forward to realizing that what lies ahead can be so much more meaningful once gambling is out of your life.  You Came here that is your first step. You realize that you are suffering from this addiction and that it is not worth it any more another step right!!! So now that you have opened the door it is time to relearn what life is like and should be like without gambling. Baby Steps One step at a time one day at a time.   You have found the greatest support out there here you will not be judged and you can find solutions here. if you put them in place you will not fail. You must want this too and its liken to a roller coaster ride ups and downs but remember never give up because first and foremost you are worth all the effort it takes to stop the ride and get off to a better way of life. Adjustments will need to be made and you will need to change alot of behaviors but man will it be worth it in the long run so good on you for coming here.  I suggest you read alot and journel too when ever you get urges come here read and remind yourself of how worthless it is to waste time and money in a place that could care less about you and on top of that clean you out and leave you hanging dry .  Just a few thoughts for now hope this helps G