Hi Baseball
Welcome to GT, where you will find a wealth of non judgemental support and advice. Like your son, ours has been a CG since he was about 16. Lies, deceit and ‘covering’ go hand in hand with this addiction sadly and often we do not know the extent of the debts incurred. Sadly YOU, nor anyone else for that matter, will be able to convince your son that he ***** expert help and support. It has to come from HIM, and recovery has to be for HIM and no amount of US wanting it to happen will work, and that is quite hard to accept as a parent – that we can’t right the wrongs for our kid(s). Usually CG’s are good workers as they need their income to continue with the gambling. Our son has also had ‘problems’ in the workplace resulting from the addiction to gamble.
Being united with family and friends against his addiction and not ‘enabling’ (which comes in many different formats) is key to YOUR survival. Not making threats that you are not prepared to carry through is also important, as the addiction sees a threat not carried out as an ‘in’ to continue its destruction.
Any relationship he has whilst actively gambling will suffer the consequences, as you say, a CG tries to make those closest to them ‘believe’ all is well in their world and often really do want to believe that for themselves too. It is fair to say that ‘normal’ parenting (whatever normal is !!) does not work with a CG child.
I do not have all the necessary knowledge BB, but all I do know is that I will never give up HOPE that our son is/will be in recovery, for to give up HOPE would be the end of the road.
Just wanted you to know that I read your post and understand you right now.
Everyone has a destiny, it's up to us whether we choose to follow it though !Looby Loo
