Hi Other Girl,
I too want to thank you for your post in the F & F topic forum.  It really hits home for me right now.  I admire your strength.
I feel very close to having had enough, but not quite there yet it seems, and also feel very foolish for not being strong enough to just walk away when nothing seems to be changing.  There always seems to be something that keeps me hooked in wondering if this is the time it will change. 
I have thought alot about whether I am being selfish by staying.  Am I preventing him from figuring it out for himself because I am always there?  I am an easy person to blame for things and also provide some connection to a future that so far is just a fantasy – a comforting thing perhaps.  I am still trying to understand it all and pull out what are my own errors for myself and for him and to make my own changes despite what he might be doing.
THank you again, your post gave me much to think about.