Dear B
I have been thinking about you and know that your feelings will be all over the place. I look forward to speaking to you soon.
I did not wonder why you packed his suitcase and prepared his documents – in my opinion you did exactly the right thing.
It is important to look after yourself when a loved one is in rehab. This time apart is great for you to find yourself, regain lost confidence and self-esteem and solidify your determination not to live in the shadow of the addiction to gamble – it works miracles. When you are reunited you will both benefit from the effort of the other.
I know you will be in a group soon so I will await your update with anticipation. As far as his parents go – make your decisions on what is right for you and your child during this precious time, as soon as possible. As a controller, his mother will be very determined but I believe that the terrific Berber, who has stood up to her husband’s addiction is a match for her. Putting yourself first, isn’t selfish, it is the right thing to do with this addiction. You have shown your love for your husband by being strong. He seems to have recognised your real support, in the strength you showed, even before he went away, which is hopefully the wonderful sign that the green shoots of recovery have taken root and are ready to flourish.
Parents do not always come around – some are too fixed and remain blind. If they force choices upon you, your husband in recovery, will know what to do because he will have learned that, in control of an addiction, he has a choice too.
Speak soon
V
