Thanks Cat–was it you who posted that "In between" piece..I loved that..That is me…except that I have been feeling "in between" for so long, I feel I will never get to a place of comfort..I cannot come to terms that I had really good jobs and more good relationships..I feel very much adrift now and have felt that way for several years now and know that it is one reason I keep relapsing..the casino is that safe haven for me but so temporary and with so much damage..I know I will Never move forward if I keep running back to that security blanket..
During my visits to my family, nothing is ever said about the gambling..I think they think I have stopped for good and have never relapsed..They know I have accumulated debt..They pay for my trips but nobody offers me financial support and that is the way it should be..I would be embarrassed at this point to receive it, but it is SO hard and SO long to pay off what I owe..and of course my relapses have set me back..
I know I get good advice on here and don’t feel so odd when I read similar stories to my own..I have compassion and undertanding for everyone on here..I have compassion and understanding for all addiactions because they are all the same..doesn’t matter if it is food, *****, gambling..An urge is an urge, no matter what..I am grateful I am stuck with only one addiction..but it is a doozy!
