I am glad you have found this site. It is a very wise and important thing that you are educating yourself about compulsive gambling. I hope your wife is doing the same.
I’m sure it was a difficult decision to have your brother move in to your home, especially if you had some idea at the time of the collateral damage the addiction of a compulsive gambler (CG) can cause to family and friends (non-CGs).
Velvet – who you’ve already met – and other advisors and members of this site will be a tremendous help to you, I promise.
I too am from Texas, so I want to make sure you are aware (and you may already know) that we DO have a number of the Indian reservation casinos scattered around in Texas, as well as horse racing tracks and casino cruise ships at the Texas ports. Of course there are also casinos just across the borders of Texas in New Mexico and Oklahoma.
Even though it sounds like your brother will not have a car, there are buses that run back and forth to these gambling venues every day for cheap fares, and I think most of their passengers are senior citizens.
Something else I have learned: Unless you live close to a metropolitan area, the recovery resources you and your brother may need are not readily available in Texas – such as Gamblers Anonymous and Gamanon, and qualified counselors and rehabilitation facilities for compulsive gamblers. I live in West Texas, and to my knowledge, there is nothing in this area at all. If you know or learn of anything out here, please let me know. I will certainly do the same for you.
Neither I nor anyone else can tell you what you should do. However, I can tell you a few things I have done based on my experiences in the last 2 years of living with my CG husband…
Among other things, I have installed Betfilter on every computer he has access to (see the discount code for GT members in the column to the right), I have a lock on our home office door where I keep valuables and anything financial (jewelry, coins, silver, my laptop and iPad and anything else that can be pawned, blank checks, car titles, etc.), I installed a locking mailbox so checks and credit cards no longer disappear, and I enrolled both of our Social Security numbers and all of our accounts with LifeLock for identity theft and credit protection.
I implemented each of these barriers only after very painful and expensive betrayals of my trust by my husband of 25 years.
With what you have learned about the insidious nature of this addiction, and all the things your brother has disregarded and lost to gambling – right down to the roof over his head your parents provided for him – you must realize that he very likely will have no regard or appreciation for you or your things either. I urge you to be “over the top” cautious until and unless he is willing to do the work necessary to change.
Every thing and every one is a means to a gamble for a CG that is not in control of his or her addiction. I have learned that the hard way.
Please read Velvet’s posts carefully and repeatedly. She knows this beast well.
I hope you will continue to post and read on this site as I think we may be the only Texans here.
I wish you the best.
"… should I give up or should I just keep trying to run after you when there’s nothing there?" Adele
— 6/4/2013 4:47:41 AM: post edited by adele.– 6/9/2013 7:46:00 AM: post edited by adele.