#2050
nomore 56
Participant

Hi there, I read your post and was thinking, wow, she really got everything sorted out before it actually got to a point of no return. You mentioned that you pretty much controlled the money after you found out about your hb’s gambling. Are you still doing it or did he have access to significant funds after the first incident? You did the right thing looking for a gambling counselor. Was it your idea or his and how does he feel about it? Do you think he is willing and ready to deal with his addiction? Attending GA is also very important and as to his assumption that he got “better”, the addiction does not really get better. It can be ******** and held at bay but is always there. Recovery is a work in progress and requires a lifelong commitment. I am diabetic and the disease will not go away ever. The insulin shots will always be necessary. Same goes for any addiction (as you can see, I love to talk in pictures, lol.) You said in your post that you feel obligated to hold the marriage together for the children. I can absolutely follow your train of thought. On the other hand, the decision what to do about your marriage is not really something to worry about right now imho. The best you can do in this ‘”state of emergency” is to take care of yourself and your babies. I also had problems with the first GamAnon group I attended. Even though the program is basically the same, the groups do have different dynamics and the same goes for GA. I absolutely understand your determination not give anything up, e.g. moving to a bad school district. Maybe you can come up with a plan, nail down the priorities right now as far as financials go? If your hb can be part of it, all the better but you can also do this for yourself. Just like you, I had never had anything to do with gambling and was completely overwhelmed and shocked when I found out about this. I cannot give you any advice of course but think it would be a good idea to make sure your hb has no access to any money right now. Other than for gas and lunch and always ask for the receipts. Since he seems to make good money, it would also be good to pull his credit report so you know if there is anything else lurking somewhere. It is great that you have access to legal advice because in states with community property your position might be more difficult than in others. And no, you don’t deserve this, neither do your kids or your husband for that matter. Nobody deserves this nightmare, the insanity of it, the hurt and everything else that comes with it. Most gamblers suffer greatly, just as we do, only in another way. I wish you tons of luck!!!!! It is possible to battle this addiction, there are many success stories out there. At this point in time, not all is lost for you and your hb.