Thanks so much for sharing your story. I must say that reading the posts from family members of compulsive gamblers helps me so very much. I am a compulsive gambler and stopped when my boyfriend had enough. He’s such a strong person and holds me completely accountable.
I can’t tell you what you should or shouldn’t do, only what my boyfriend did for us and what works and doesn’t work.
The first thing he did was tell me that either I stop and give him all control or I pack my bags and get out. I knew he was serious.
Then he took over every single penny of our money. I have no funds whatsoever that he doesn’t know about. He’s closed off absolutely every single option for me. My entire pay cheque goes to him, he has my credit and debit cards. I have only one account that’s joint with him so he can see everything I do. If I take out cash, I’m to supply him with a receipt that accounts for all of it.
Then he told me to ban myself from the casinos and provide him with written proof. He didn’t go with me. He said this was my responsibility. I did it. I am now banned for one year.
He also said that I was to get help for myself (GA isn’t for me so I chose individual counselling and online support)
What helped me is that he made it perfectly clear what I was to do and what the consequences would be if I didn’t.
All of this allowed me to focus on recovering. I no longer had access to money or the casino. For me, this works.
Just know that no matter what you decide to do, the best thing you can do is protect yourself (your money) and your children (their well being). Whether he stops gambling or not is completely up to him.
I’m so sorry that you are going through this. I know from the other side what this feels like. It’s completely consuming.
Please feel free to ask any questions as well. I’m here if you need support.
CrystalLife isn't that difficult…people make it difficult. It's simple, let go and move on OR hold on and stay stuck.