[p]

Well.. things are feeling a little better. i got compliments from my boxs and i was told what a great job i do. It made me feel a little better to hear that. Havnet had many positives of late so that was nice. I am just here with fans going, its hot today, and i am having some food and i am thinkng that life will improve. i believe in myself and i have no idea why. I never do, i have been totally devastated and to the bottom of the barrel and now i feel it is possible to stop so maybe thats what i needed in a really weird painful way. Its a cruel way to learn and its taken roughly six years for me to believe it but i actually believe i can do this
I think ive gone mad
P