[p]

I am thinking more and i think the only way i could stop is if i got to this point of pain. I think unless i experienced big loss, partial insanity and just wanting to die that i would have kept going. Its a shame that this is what it takes. But it has happened this way and it cant be undone. I still feel so guilty for what ive lost. For who i became. I don’t think i could ever go back to it, or is it just that i am fresh off the relapse. Doest feel like it though. Feels like im done. 🙂

P