[p]

Hi again friends
I am definately paying for what i have done. It is hard and it is going to be hard. I believe that this amount of madness is actually going to eventually be beneficial to me. Trying to look at the positive because the reality is its a very negative situation that i have to face. Small steps and small progress has been made though in actually a very small amount of time. Though the relapse was recent and it was beyond words even. I cant even begin to say it. I am doing counselling and meetings, straight on to it. My counsellor made me feel sane for a minute. In those moments i was ok. I caught a glimpse of hope. I have fought this addiction long enough. I no longer fight. I totally surrender.
P